Jessica’s Reviews – 4 Non Blondes

I hate this band. First of all, what’s with the name? Why be famous and not blonde? Seriously, they look like a group of tax accountants and municipal workers, which are things that I found out about because we had a careers day, which I didn’t need because obviously I’m just going to be hot when I’m older.

Also, I noticed that this is exactly the kind of music that dorky do-gooders like Enid Rollins are into. Is it a dreadlock thing? Like I remember Enid drove six hours one time to watch Ani DiFranco, who is this other new dorky singer, and she had dreadlocks too. If Enid really likes dreadlocks so much she should just go get some done. It would maybe make her look more interesting. Sorry, I mean interesting.

And what’s with their song, What’s Going On? What a dumb question! What does it even mean? Why don’t they ask a real question like “Can you see my tan line?” and “Did you bring a condom?” I refuse to even listen to their music, which is why this review is a review of their stupid assortment of hats (1/10) and the points of them as people (0/10).

I really have to go now.

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